4 tips to be a team player

You disagree with a fellow PTA member or your coworkers are getting on your last nerve. You know you’re supposed to be a team player, but it’s not always easy. “Some people are just naturally more collaborative,” says Maynard Brusman, PhD, executive & career coach and consulting psychologist at Working Resources in San Francisco. “Those people may enjoy working on teams. Others are more individualistic.”
 
“There’s a tremendous upside [to teamwork],” Brusman says. Aside from the social aspect, working together puts you in a hub for creativity and innovation, he says. It comes with challenges, but try to see it as a learning opportunity that enhances your personal skill set and knowledge. “It’s all those brains together that produces better ideas, results, and problem-solving. That’s the way you grow, learn, and experiment.”
 
If you don’t gravitate toward group work, boost your team spirit with these tips from Brusman.
 
1. Make Things Personal
You ever get e-mails from your boss that are efficient to the point of being cold? Though being concise may seem productive, having that impersonal attitude creates tension, Brusman warns.  When you’re communicating with your group, make a point to throw in some personality and thank group members when it’s appropriate. It’s a subtle way to engage with your team but will help you feel more unified.
 
2. Create a Welcoming Environment
The best kind of team setting is one with an environment where you can speak the truth, Brusman says. That doesn’t mean you have to be Pollyanna, but arrive with a positive attitude. “An ineffective team player comes in and it’s ‘my way or the highway.'” A good team member is in tune with his or her empathetic side. Brusman recommends preparing specific questions to get to know others especially if you’re new to a group (these can be questions for individual group members or the group collectively). Or, try team-building icebreakers at your next gathering.
 
3. Get Comfortable
To work more effectively with others, take on tasks that build your confidence and make you feel optimistic about your skills, Brusman suggests. “You have to be very self-aware,” he says. Volunteer activities such as co-managing the concession stand at your child’s soccer game or helping out at a local charity organization around the holidays are low-key ways to team up.
 
You may not yet be ready for a leadership role, but that doesn’t make you a less valuable team member. “Find your comfort zone, but be able to stretch yourself at some point,” he says.  
 
4. Speak Up!
To build relationships and solve problems, ask questions—especially when there are disagreements. It’s important to voice your concerns and express what you’re comfortable with (and not), Brusman says. “People who are really effective on a team listen a lot and they ask questions if they’re unsure. If you have something you want to learn—ask, look around.” You may be intimidated by a colleague, but not asking questions will make it harder to collaborate. 
 
The Bottom Line
In a team situation, realize why you’re there, Brusman says. “Often it gets to be about ‘me,’ but it’s not about you.” Make teamwork about having a good experience for both you and your team members, he says. “Whether it’s PTA or it’s something else, the most powerful way to ‘do’ is through other people.”