Keep friendships strong as you age
One of the guarantees of aging: Your relationships will evolve. As we get older, friends may move away. They may spend more time with family and less time with you. And while that’s a normal part of life, it can also bring up feelings of loneliness.
Staying connected with friends doesn’t just make you happier. It can help you live a longer, healthier life. That’s because loneliness (feeling emotionally alone) and social isolation (being physically alone) can increase your risk of conditions such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline, according to the National Institute on Aging (NIA).
It’s never too late to make new friends. But it’s also important to nurture your existing friendships, even if they look different than they once did. These tips can help you strengthen your bonds with the ones you love. Here are some reasons friendships fade with age — and how to stay connected through it all.
Your friend moved away
You still chat on the phone, but now it’s impossible to go on morning walks together. When a friend moves away, it can leave us feeling down. That’s when technology can help, says Elizabeth Necka, Ph.D., program director in the Individual and Behavioral Processes Branch of the Division of Behavioral and Social Research at the NIA. Video chatting is especially helpful in connecting people. It’s not the same as being face-to-face, but you can see facial expressions, so it’s more intimate than a phone call.
They have become a caregiver to a spouse or loved one
Being a caregiver can be extremely rewarding. It can also be emotionally and physically exhausting. While you may feel lonely now that your friend has taken a step back, it’s important to be empathetic. “There’s always an opportunity to reconnect,” says Necka. Letting them know you’re there to help support them can go a long way. You could offer to cook them a meal and leave it on their doorstep, or mail a card to let them know they’re on your mind.
Aging or injury has changed the activities you can do together
As we age, it’s common for friendships to change due to mobility issues. Maybe you used to hike together every weekend, but now the incline is rough on your friend’s knees. When this happens, it can help to have a conversation about alternative activities. For example, maybe an in-pool exercise class will allow you to stay active while being gentle on their joints. If a friend’s vision has worsened and playing cards together is too challenging, suggest meeting for a cup of tea. There are endless ways to connect.
